A lot of women blame themselves when their relationships end.
A common concern that women have is that they have “blown” relationships in the early stages by not being high value.
This is not always true. What if you’ve just been trying to be high value with the wrong men?
What if you’ve been trying to “be high value” with a man who is “low value”?
Putting attention on your own worth detracts from what’s true of HIM
So often women have the attention on themselves and what they are doing to be “High Value”, that they cannot see the other person for who they are.
They think that IF they, as women, are the ones who do things “right”, they will be able to influence the man to do what they want him to do.
Yet in reality, men are free agent humans who have their own things going on and their own ideas about how to date and deal with women.
Many of the signs of who a man is are clear in the early dating stages.
For example, sometimes the guy lets you know directly or indirectly through conversation his approach towards women, by telling you all about his past with women.
Through conversations like this, the mentality he conducted in regards to women will reveal itself.
Each man has his own beliefs about relationships and has his own particular way of interacting with women. Although some universal truths about men will always exist.
Often, it is not the woman’s fault, it is just the normal cycle of most relationships. A lot of men come on strong, and then they leave suddenly.
It’s not your fault!
A man can be super into you for a couple of months after you meet, and then go cold for no apparent reason and break the relationship off.
At this point, since a woman often feels hurt, abandoned or even guilty, she resorts to blaming herself.
Truthfully, a lot of women have been ghosted before and the never ending questioning or self blaming can do their head in.
At some point you have to accept that the reasons he left actually have nothing to do with you.
For example, one woman I coached found out that the man who left her suddenly out of the blue, had never lived with a partner before, and he was already aged 37.
Red flag anyone?
This kind of guy may really like having no responsibility for anyone else, just being free to do whatever he wants without having to think of someone else.
What does this tell you?
For one, it gives you an indication that you didn’t really have to drive him away, it wasn’t you driving him away through lack of high value; he simply didn’t want to be in a relationship.
And that’s fine. That’s how some men are. There is no use blaming yourself, because that burden will be carried by you in future relationships, which is not a good thing.
Moving forward, remember to not blame yourself. Each party has an influence in the way a relationship turns out.