Have you dated a narcissist before? Do you want to avoid ever dating another narcissist again?
This article will help you weed out any potential narcissists early. It will also help you evaluate men better for whether they should get your trust or not.
In your quest to not allow future narcissists into your life (in the dating stages), you need to work on keeping things about your personal life, personal. At least until there is established trust.
This is especially the case if you are particularly vulnerable to wanting to connect with anyone and everyone. It’s especially the case if you want connection with people.
The reason why it’s helpful to avoid sharing too much personal information, is so that you avoid giving any potential ammo to a narcissist.
A narcissistic man will use your information against you.
One other reason you want to avoid sharing too much personal information is that a narcissist may love bomb you big time (one of the biggest red flags in online dating) from very early on in the relationship.
Women who fall for red flags in dating such as love bombing will often (to their detriment), open up to the narcissist very quickly, sharing everything about themselves and their life.
These women are also the ones who have their same information used against them later on in the relationship. Then, they are left regretting telling them a lot of things that they did.
When you avoid giving information to narcissists, it stops them being able to prey on your insecurities and weaknesses.
I have brainstormed some ideas about what you should NOT share within the first 3 months with a new friend OR potential mate. This is so that you can avoid a potentially narcissistic or toxic man.
Here’s what to avoid sharing with a narcissist
Here’s some things you may avoid sharing with people too early on, before they have earned your trust.
• Why you are NOT close to your family.
• Your attachment style.
• Current quarrels with family or friends.
• Family life setting.
• Current political viewpoints.
• Income level.
• Never tell them u hate anything about your looks. As one lady once told me: “My sister was self conscious about her saddle bags and her narc/jerk husband always mentioned it.”
• Don’t go talking negatively about past partners or going into details about past relationships. Narcissists love this information. Don’t say anything that gives him the impression you were ever mistreated by ANYONE.
• Do not ever tell them that you’ve dealt with narcs before. This is because one thing leads to another, and they’ll know super fast about all your weaknesses. Then, they can prey on them.
In other words, you would rather give a narc the impression that all your previous relationships were “clean” and healthy.
I hope that post gives you some food for thought on how to date men to avoid getting involved with a narcissist ever again.
Now we can briefly discuss how to get rid of a narcissist when you know 100% that he is one, using the gray rock technique.
Gray Rock Technique
If you’re 1005 sure he is a narc, use the gray rock technique, so he loses interest in you. It’s much safer than making him mad.
With the grey rock technique, you make yourself an unworthy victim.
You get boring, don’t praise them, don’t feed their ego and offer them nothing, so that there’s nothing for them to obtain from you.
Essentially what the grey rock technique does is that it leads them to end up discarding you, but you win instead of losing.
Whereas, if you confront a narcissistic man, you feed your own hurt ego, but it’s not helpful. He’ll rage and possibly get revenge on you.
The Broken Record Technique
Another tactic that you can use is the Broken Record technique.
This is a technique where you know what you’re going to say to the narc, and you say only that.
This is usually one or two sentences that get your point across and that’s all they will get from you.
(As a small aside: It also works well with kids who keep asking for something after you’ve given an answer.)
Listen to your Gut Above All
Obviously, one big thing to remember is that aside from not giving away too much personal information too early, is that you want to listen to your gut.
Your gut will usually tell you the truth. It will give you the signs you need in order to avoid a narcissist.
Unfortunately, a lot of women ignore their gut’s signals. You can’t afford to do that in dating.
As much as you would love to have a boyfriend in your life and be able to proudly show him off to your family and friends who have been asking you “why are you still single?!” for years, it’s not worth the heartache.
All the best, and remember to listen to your gut above all. No one else can do that better than you can!