How to show up as a high value woman? What are the steps to being a high value woman in the dating stage?
When we think about being a high value woman, we should consider that the most important thing is to present with value first.
If we don’t present with value, then how can men realize our value? It’s not so easy, right?
Are our standards the thing that makes us high value?
What a lot of women do is they think that it’s high value to have their own “standards” for what guys “should” do when they’re courting them.
This whole standards thing doesn’t have a whole lot to do with being a high value woman!
If you’d like to understand more about what makes a woman high value in the dating stages, read this article.
Sure, I admit that it can be attractive to some high value men if you are a woman who is strong enough to assert her own boundaries.
However, what a lot of women do is they use their “standards” as a disguise for anger and reactivity.
What I’ve noticed is that a lot of women can be reactive in their responses to the men who are only in the dating stage with them. We must remember that men don’t owe us anything in the dating stage. It’s not a relationship yet.
It’s always ok to express feelings, feelings will allow you to communicate what you want authentically to men! And yet it’s also important to keep the following perspective in mind…
To guys, it’s a red flag when women do this…
I have heard guys say many times that it’s a red flag when a girl seems “annoyed” in her text responses if they’ve been on only a couple of dates.
What does this really mean? Personally, I would read that as: it’s a red flag to men when women come across as full of expectations for what a man “should” do in the dating stages.
These same guys have said that this red flag tells them what she’ll be like in a relationship: reactive with tons of expectations.
Also important is this: if you’ve been intimate with the guy already, it’s possible that things are now more triggering for you.
That’s understandable and relatable. But arguably, that is also our decision to become intimate before commitment. Right?
It still doesn’t make him obligated to act any differently if he doesn’t want to. That’s what is hard to understand as a woman in dating. But it’s the truth.
How to keep your power and high value as a woman
So what’s the alternative to being reactive or having a lot of expectations?
Keep it easy breezy, free of expectations and lighthearted as much as possible when you’re not committed yet.
Remember, it’s a courting stage. It should be a fun time to look back on together and to inspire him to make a deeper commitment.
Keep your boundaries of course but keep your mystery and confidence as well.
If it helps, just think back to the last guy that you weren’t sure about yet but who acted annoyed with you in the dating stage in some way, or made insecure comments. How much of a turnoff was it?
If he’s turned you off, show it by giving less of yourself in the conversations and by giving less of your time to him.
But writing him back your feelings in a paragraph or pushing to see how he feels about you is a turnoff for a lot of guys in the dating stage.
It says you’re more into him than he’s into you and puts you in the pursuer role.
Ask yourself if you would want a guy feeling like he is the one with the power, and has the one up on you when you’re dating?
Would you want him to be super relaxed (or lazy), knowing he has it in the bag with you anyway and doesn’t need to step it up?
Would you want him to know that all your eggs are in his basket, and that you’re anxiously waiting for him to make you his girlfriend?
Remember, he’s supposed to be pursuing you and winning you over.
He should be anxious and worried who else is after you! Especially if you’re so relaxed and happy and thus don’t carry this pushy sense of urgency.
If you take a look at any of the high value, masculine, alpha men who are married, you’ll see that often, their wives always seemed “too busy” to even really care or obsess about them when they were dating.
If you can see the value of being actually busy (not just “acting” busy), then you’ll realize how much choosing to be that way can help you to get the commitment that you want.
And when you’re married, you’ll look back and thank yourself for holding off on all the reactivity and low value expectations of him!
Always remember this: you’re the prize and he would be so lucky to have you.
Never forget it.
Keep your power, ladies.