Should I tell Men on Dating Sites that I am Looking for A Relationship EARLY?
To be successful in online dating, should a woman tell a man before they meet that she is looking for something serious? Or, should she tell him that she is looking for a committed relationship”?
Some women say that they always tell men what they are looking for (ie: looking to date for a serious relationship), and that this is the most high value thing to do.
The point of this is to establish if the man reciprocates, and can tell her in return that he wants the same thing. And if he does, that would be all good and he would be worth her time.
However, regardless of what men say they want, you have to let a man’s actions speak for themselves. Their words just never cut it.
Again, it’s never a waste of time to tell a man what you want up front, in fact, that is wise. Unless of course, you’ve already let years go by with a non committal man, and you already know that the man doesn’t want what you want.
Dating is a little different to that particular scenario, however. Dating is not a hunting ground, but a training ground.
Men online will tell a woman anything, but it’s their actions that speaks volumes. Look to their actions. To discern them, sometimes you have to be patient, but it’s worth it.
You can see the idea of telling a man up front what you are after as learning/discerning of what it is you want or don’t want.
It just gets you closer to what you’re looking for. Dating online is different.
It really is a numbers game. You have to know when to pull the plug (look at a man’s actions, set a time limit and standards for yourself), to not over invest in the wrong man.
There are no guarantees of knowing that a man will or will not waste your time. You have to find out for yourself and eliminate them quickly.
All in all, you have to put the emotional part aside and listen to what the man is telling you and observe his actions! That’s hard to do for most women, and that’s why they badly need reminders to do it!
Most women tend to attach too quickly & too early in the process of finding a partner, based on the desire of just having a partner.
But when you’re looking for the right partner through dating online, you really have to be prepared for the environment that online dating is.
You have to accept the reality of the numbers game – it’s a game of elimination.
Remember to always promise yourself that you won’t settle for less than you deserve. However, in that process you have to be ready to deal with all kinds of time wasters. You can’t just give up just because the first guy didn’t give you what you want.
The conclusion? Yes, you should tell a man early on what you are looking for. That is the whole point of it. Be honest, but don’t be pushy. Be honest, tell him, and then lean back and observe his actions.
If he turns out to be just another time waster online, then eliminate him and move forward!
Best of luck.
And check out these top 5 most common mistakes women make in online dating.